This too shall pass. That sentiment has become my parenting mantra. It is the phrase I hold onto when parenting gets tough, and oh, does parenting get unbearably tough!

Adolescence is a time in a family’s development that brings big responsibility and big decisions. As a parent, you will worry about your child’s success. You will stress about their choices. You will hope you have raised them well and given them the tools to help them move in the right direction. Adolescence will bring sleepless nights. But remember:

This too shall pass.

The adolescent years are distinguished by the pushing of boundaries, a rebelling against the rules, and an overall challenging of the system. While this fight for independence is normal and actually a sign of healthy development, it is likely to come with family conflict, tension, and extreme and unpredictable mood swings. During this time, you may come to both appreciate your teen’s growing sense of identity and independence and loathe the way they go about it. This time will bring anger and disappointment. But keep in mind:

This too shall pass.

Adolescents are driven to connect with peers and often social interactions take precedence over family time. You may miss the days when your child filled you in about every little detail of their day. You may long for the time when your child asked for family game nights or enjoyed watching your favorite shows together. Their bedroom door, now seemingly permanently closed, may become a visual reminder of the emotional divide between you. This phase will bring feelings of grief and loss. But know:

This too shall pass.

And when it does, because it inevitably will, if you were able to keep true to your parenting values, then your family will survive and may even come out of the chaos a bit stronger. This period will bring the birth of a new relationship. One characterized by connection, mutual respect, and pride. And this period will bring great happiness.

Warmly,

A child therapist and fellow parent

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